


A hat makes (no) cowboy

by rex101111, Sevi007



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 16:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16452980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rex101111/pseuds/rex101111, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sevi007/pseuds/Sevi007
Summary: One hat, a joking comment and Dante being, well, Dante, that’s all it takes to turn one quiet afternoon at the Devil May Cry shop into a war. In the end, nobody can say they are really surprised by the situation itself... just by what they might discover because of it.





	A hat makes (no) cowboy

**Author's Note:**

> A work that's solely based on me making a joke over how Dante's new "Faust Hat" weapon likely means he wanted to be a cowboy back when he was a kid, and rex101111 joining and helping this idea to become a full-fledged story.

" _GOTCHA!"_

With one final swing, Dante sent the last of the demons flying into a wall. Their forms quickly fell apart at the seems and turned to dust, leaving behind only the impression on the concrete. Dante reached out a hand, making a beckoning motion, before a red streak flew from the broken wall and into his palm with a quite buzz.

"That thing is pretty impressive." Lady commented dryly as she yanked her bayonet from a pron Frost, looking at Dante from the corner of her eye. "You know...for a hat."

Dante placed the hat on his head with a quick flick of his finger and a light smirk. "I like it! It's got a load of style to it."

Lady scoffed, "style wouldn't be the word  _I'd_ use but-"

"Yeah!" Nico interrupted suddenly, peaking her head out from a pile of grey, twitching limbs with a giddy smirk. "It kinda makes ya look like a cowboy!"

Dante freezes, and whips his head to face the direction of Nico's voice. "Really?"

"Yeah really! Straight out of an Eastwood film, dude!"

Dante blinked his eyes numbly for a few seconds, the idea slowly rolling around in his head, before his face lit up like a blinking land mine and a manic smirk dominated his features. "Well, ain't that a hoot n' a half..."

Lady groaned, already knowing what was to come. " _Now_ look what you did!"

"Did what?"

"It seems that our work here is finished." Dante said of a sudden, his voice starting out normal before slowly shifting, inching towards what can only be called a  _drawl._ "But, we can't rest our head yet, pardners. There are always more  _outlaws_ for us to corral before they get up to no good."  

Lady rubbed her temples and took in a very quick, sharp breath. "Okay, I can see where this is going." She claps twice in mock praise as a scowl grows on her face. " _Hardy-har Dante_ , you got a hat and you're a cowboy  _good_   _for you._ " She pointed behind her to the pile of dead demons. "Now let's pack up and get to the client so we get payed."

"Now hold on there Missy!" Dante pointed dramatically at her, the other hand placed on the top of his hat as if to hold in place against some nonexistent wind. "You wouldn't happen to be questioning my authority on this matter now?" He made a gun motion with his outstretched hand in mock threat that made Lady want to roll her eyes right out of her head. "Because if you  _are_...there might be some consequences to it."

"Dante for the love of God you can't be  _serious-"_

It was too late, Dante had fully committed to his newly adopted western inspired persona, fanning out the end of his coat in a manner meant to be impressive (which failed miserably) before once more pointing at her, this time with even more dramatic gravitas. "Them's  _fighting_ words! You leave me no choice pardner..." He lifts the brim of his hat with his second hand and grins with all of his teeth at her, “Pistols at noon! You and me cowpoke!”

 

Lady stared at him without a word for a whole two minutes.

And then she shot him in the head. 

And then she walked over to him, where he was still grumbling about how much that stung, and yanked the damn hat off of his head and started stomping on it despite his protests.

She shot it a couple of times too for good measure.

Dante picked up the remains of his poor, abused, hat, cut down in the prime of its life, “ _Why?”_

Lady stared him dead in the face, expression stone still, “I made a vow to destroy evil.” 

Silence.

“Also, you’re annoying enough _without_  having an excuse to talk with that _godawful_  western accent.”

He waited, (clearly not pouting, he was a _grown man_ , he did not _pout_ , thank you very much) until Lady seemed to be out of earshot, before he leaned over to Nico. The girl had witnessed the whole spectacle from where she had been digging through the rubble left by Lady’s latest hunt, looking for scraps of demons the older woman had torn apart with her attacks that she could use in her newest weapon creation.

Now the young woman was barely holding in the loud laughter threatening to spill, but managed an inquiring noise as she caught his gaze.

“Do you think you can fix this up?”

A smothered sound, a giggle, and then a cleared throat before she became stern again. “Count on me, cowboy!”

Dante’s grin went from ear to ear as he put on his best (worst) drawl. “Don’t know what I would do without ya, lassie!”

Nico snorted, a loud, delighted noise. “Oh my god, you’re _worse_ than grandma told me.”

“That a good thing?”

“The _best_. Now give me that mistreated thingy, I’m gonna make it better than it ever was.”

“Off you go,” Dante paused, considered, “Make it more durable, perhaps?”

“Demon-durable or Lady-durable?”

“Both. Mostly the later.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lady had never felt such utter and complete _betrayal_ in her entire life from another human being (except the obvious, of course) as she stared at the offending headwear, patched up and _reinforced with carbon fiber_ of all things.

Dante sauntered over, thumbs in the waist of his pants and a tooth pick in his mouth - _oh for the love of god were those **spurs on his shoes** \- _and grinned so smugly she was tempted to shoot him in the teeth on principal alone.

“Well _howdy there_  pardner.” His grin grew when one of Lady’s eyes twitched. “Fancy seeing _you_  around these parts.” He pointed up to his hat. “I see you eyeballin’ my hat, purdy ain’t it?”

“Dante for the _love of God_ that’s a fucking _trucker accent-”_

 _“_ Now I know you must be hankerin’ to bust it up like before,” He continued, ignoring her, “but you should know-”

Lady whipped out one of her machine guns, and unloaded the entire magazine directly into that _vile_  piece of leather and demonic metal.

Damn thing didn’t even _flinch._

“-My associate here gave it an upgrade.” He pointed to Nico, who was standing by his side this whole time, nearly bent over in held back laughter.

“Bullet proof hat!” She exclaimed at Lady, eyes shining with excitement, “I _love_  working with you guys I never would have thought of this one.”

“You,” Lady started, eyes digging through Nico as well as any bullet, “are a traitor to the whole of humanity.”

“Oh _relax.”_ Nico waved her off with little care. “Just let the man have his dumb fun, besides I made this thing _100% Lady-proof_ , there ain’t a damn thing you can do to it to damage or destroy it.”

Lady raised an eyebrow, holstered her machine gun, and reached back to put a hand on Kalina Ann.

“…Except that maybe.”

Dante whipped his head to Nico, “You forgot about the damn _rocket launcher!?”_

“She has like _twenty different guns!”_  Nico protested, panic seeping into her voice. “How do you expect me to keep track!?”

“Nico.” Lady intoned mildly, aiming the large barrel of her prized weapon directly at Dante’s face. “Take ten steps back.”

Nico took one look at the bazooka, than another look at Dante, switching between the two a few more times before turning on her heel and _legging it._

_“Later partner!”_

_“Lady was right! You ARE a traitor!”_

A soft click of a trigger reached Dante’s sensitive ears.

“Oh _dagnabbit_.”

A massive explosion rocked the immediate area, sending plumes of smoke and fire into the air along with a few chunks of concrete, charred black from the blast.

Lady put Kalina Ann back on the strap on her back, crossed her arms, and nodded her head in satisfaction, “The evil is defeated.” She yelled into the smoke cloud where Dante was standing, probably grumbling about his lost hat. “Let that be a lesson to you! You should always know when to let a joke _die.”_

She turned away to get to the nearest bar in order to drink the memory of this nonsense out of her head as soon as possible…when she heard a few surprised peals of laughter.

“Well, waddya know!” Dante stepped out of the smoke cloud, outfit scorched and ruined, with more than a few wounds rapidly healing on his skin…

 

And the hat in his hand, utterly unscathed.

 

“She really _did_  make it Lady-proof!" 

Lady’s eye twitched again as she gaped at the utter _ridiculousness_ of what she was looking at, before she growled and walked away with an angry stomp.

“Aww, what’s the matter? Giving up?”

“I’m getting _Trish!”_

 _“_ Woah nelly….”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“… so I _might_ have pissed her off a little bit with that and what do you reckon are the chances that she’s going to shoot me if the hat doesn’t get destroyed in that one?”

“Girl,” Trish offered, raising one hand to quell the flood of words that had tumbled out of Nico’s mouth in too little time and what seemed to be a single breath. “Lady might shoot a lot of things in a day, and shoot Dante a whole lot more on top of that, but she’s not going to shoot _you_. No matter what she said.”

Nico lifted an eyebrow at her, looking somewhere between insecure, relieved and amused at Trish’s nonchalance. “You, ah, sure? She seemed a _bit_ in a bad mood right there….”

“Quite,” Trish’s smile widened as she took a sip of the wine Morrison had brought with him from a quick shopping trip. Her fine senses picked up the heady flavor (bless the man for knowing something about drinks) and the nearing sound of footsteps and arguing all in one second. “Now you might want to step back and enjoy the show.”

Nico’s eyes widened, a grin twitched around her lips, and she dived behind Trish and the desk just as the door to the shop basically _flew_ open.

“TRISH!”

“Trish don’t let her destroy it again!”

In a flurry of motions and colors, Lady, fuming and flushed, burst into the room, Dante hot on her heels – the latter’s clothes smoking and torn, together with the last hints of paling scars telling stories about the explosion he had taken point-blank.

And there, on top of his head, Trish spotted the offending hat that had apparently started a little war between friends.

Not what she would have gone for when it came to fashion, she noted, but looking far too innocently for it to be the source of all this.

Then again, she knew her friends well enough that that _was_ an actual possibility.

With a blink, she observed with some amusement that the two fractions hadn’t even waited until they had her attention until they started squabbling.

“… and no offence, if this hat doesn’t go _immediately_ , I _swear_ I will find the nearest Hellgate and throw this idiot in there myself…”

“Now you’re really hurting my feelings here, Lady!”

“Your _feelings_? You’re hurting my _everything_ with this, from my sensibilities to my ears up to my brain cells, every time you open your mouth ever since you put that _thing_ on!”

“It’s hilarious, you just don’t understand good humor.”

“You wouldn’t even know good humor if it bit you in the…”

“Children,” Trish drawled, interrupting them even though this was getting really fun right there. She could hear Nico’s choked off laughter behind her, but didn’t turn to look at it. “What did we say about dragging me into your arguments?”

There was a beat of silence, before Lady pointed at the cowboy hat. “Destroy it please.”

“ _Hey_!” Dante protested, putting one hand protectively over the beloved accessory.

“Destroy it now. Banish the evil.”

“You destroying my _dreams_ is evil!”

“Which dreams, being an annoying ass?!”

“Being a cowboy- every man’s dream!”

“Ha fucking ha, don’t make me laugh-“

There was affection bubbling up in Trish, alongside the amusement. If the two of them hadn’t been so wrapped up in their argument – Lady had taken to poking Dante’s chest with every word while Dante downright pouted down at her, no matter how he would protest the mere idea – they would have caught her smiling at them with the softest smile she was capable off, utterly open and true.

 _Sibling squabbles_ , someone had told her once, while observing a scene very much like this. She couldn’t remember who had told her that piece of wisdom, but she couldn’t help but agree with it –

She had never had any home or family to begin with, had been created instead of born, used instead of raised, but she couldn’t help but associate moments like this with _right, warm, home._

_Family._

(How utterly, terribly, _wonderfully_ ironic, she thought, a sadistic part of her wishing that whatever left of Mundus would turn over in his non-existent grave at the notion of it, how wonderful and _miraculous_ that she would come to love a group of demonhunters, _enemies_ , so fiercely and utterly as if they were the same flesh and blood as her, even more so.)

 

She had missed this while Dante was gone, she had. But as delighting as this was… 

“Nico,” she called, her voice sadly interrupting the argument, leading to two pairs of eyes focusing on her in surprise.

“Uh, yeah?” The human girl popped up behind the desk where she had been hiding, face flushed from suppressed laughter, and waved awkwardly in Lady’s direction. Lady glowered at her, but did not draw any guns, so Nico seemed to loosen up a bit.

“You said you improved the hat. Did you also make it withstand higher level of voltage?”

Lady’s mouth dropped open, and a cheeky, absolutely silly grin spread on Dante’s face.

Nico hesitated, her eyes going wide. “Actually, I did! Thought the baby could use some protection against those electric demons, the, uh, Blitz? So, yeah, I… oh.”

“Ha,” Dante said, slowly, standing a little straighter.

Lady’s glower got even more murderous. “Don’t tell me…”

“I did say I would make it demon proof!” Obviously deciding that it wasn’t save out there any longer and more explosions were a real possibility, Nico dived behind the desk again.

“Ha!” Dante said, again, louder and happier than before. Lady’s sour expression could have curdled milk, at this point.

“There you have it,” Trish spread her hands as if in surrender, wine glass dancing daintily on her fingertips. “It’s basically me-proof.”

“Do not,” Lady spoke slowly, darkly, rounding on her now instead of the young engineer, “dare to tell me _to my face_ that you are not much, much stronger than a simple _Blitz demon_. Heck, you probably wouldn’t even need electricity to get rid of it!”

“But that certain _spark_ is what I’m known for,” Trish reminded with only slight amusement in her voice, winking at the other woman. “Where would we be if I distanced myself from that?”

“Howdy, mah dear, she _so_ one upped you on this one,” Dante’s voice held no little respect, and he was cheeky enough to tip his (awful, terrible, war-inducing) hat at the blonde to show it.

The motion drew Lady’s gaze to the offending thing, and after glowering at it for a heartbeat (her look promising a painful death like no hat had ever seen before) she snatched it off Dante’s silvery hair and turned on her heels, storming to the door again.

“Lady - wait where are you going?”

“To destroy the evil in this world! NERO! KID GET YOUR ASS HERE AND MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL!”

“You’re pulling the kid into this?! Now you’re just going too far…!”

 

And gone they were, much like they had appeared, a storm passing through too fast to comprehend it.

 

“Well,” Nico said after a moment, glancing over the top of the desk carefully. “That was… something.”

“It’s not over yet, if you want to watch the rest,” taking a sip of her wine, Trish counted in her head how long it would take for Lady to find Nero hidden behind something to engineer and improve again, plus the time they needed to explain the situation to him, plus the time to get him to even listen to their “bullshit” – well, in any case, enough time to finish her drink and wait for Morrison to fill him in. “If you hurry, you might catch the boy rolling his eyes at them and wishing he never met them.”

Nico laughed, not even questioning if that was true – they both knew – and scrambled to get out of her hiding spot. “I need to see that. You coming?”

“Right behind you, in a second.” 

Nico grinned, saluted, and bounced after the (still clearly audible) bickering duo.

Upbeat, lively, and knowing when to be crazy, Trish noted with some pride, a good, good addition to what she considered “her group”, that girl – just like the young demon and his woman had been. 

The backdoor clicked quietly, too quietly for a human to catch it, but Trish smiled over her shoulder at Morrison. “You almost missed the best part of today.”

Morrison sighed fondly, clapping off his clothes even though he know he wouldn’t get out the offending bite of cigar smoke from his quick smoking break, not with her inhuman senses, at least. “Now, what did the kid do this time?”

“Thinks he makes a good cowboy, annoying Lady… you know, almost the usual.”

“A _cowboy_?” Morrison’s grey eyebrow rose up high. “Of all the things that he ever came up with… you know what, that might come close to being the craziest thing of all.”

Trish’s laughter rang out, startlingly loud now that their crazy friends had left them in silence. “Oh, you know, he got the looks down and everything. Despite being blown up already.”

“I shouldn’t even be surprised.”

“No, you shouldn’t. Join me for the next part?” She shot him a smile that would have made men and women alike swoon, but with Morrison, it only got an amused huff out of him as he offered her his arm like the gentleman he was. She took it while raising gracefully, interlinking their arms with an ease that spoke of practice.

“I’m going to regret this, and somebody is going to get hurt for real over nothing,” he prophesized, aiming for gloom but unable to hold back his smile.

“Now,” Trish patted his arm with no little amusement as she led him after their very own circus. “It actually might go well.”

“When does it ever with them?”

“Hmhm, good point.”

“At least we might get a laugh out of it.”

“That’s the spirit.”

 

(Oh, how utterly, terribly, _wonderfully_ crazy her family was)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nero had long since come to the perfectly reasonable conclusion that the crew of Devil May Cry were completely out of their minds.

From Dante’s constant disregard of his safety, Lady’s overly sensitive trigger finger (which was especially dangerous when she brought out the damn _canon_  strapped to her back), and Trish…well, being _Trish,_ there was no shortage of reasons to think the gang were long overdue for a few appointments with a shrink.

This…was something else though. He stared down at the hat in his hands. A hat that was given-alright less given and more _slammed into his hand_   _with little warning  while he was working,_ by an especially angry looking Lady.

It seemed…well, it was a cowboy hat, with a long brim that curved upwards near the end, a leather band surrounding the center along with a few red gemstones that glowed with demonic power.

So, not the strangest thing Nero had ever held in his hand, but the way Lady was _glaring_  down at it you’d think it was the spawn of the deepest pit of hell.

“…hello-?”

“ _Destroy it.”_

_“Huh?”_

Just then Dante burst into the workshop (scattering the tools Nero had spent an entire _hour_  cleaning up _goddamnit old man!)_  with a look of unrestrained panic, “Kid! Don’t let her lies drag you to cruelty!”

“… _what.”_

 _“Quiet Dante!”_ Lady whirled on the older half demon, jabbing a finger in his chest, “This has gone on _long enough!”_ She pointed at the hat still sitting serenely in Nero’s metal hand, “This thing has got to go!”

….were they seriously having an argument over a damn _hat._

“Just because you can’t appreciate the _style-”_

“I saw _cockroaches_  with more  _style_  than that tourist trap reject!”

 _This_  is why his work was interrupted so rudely? He was being subjected to all this _drama_  because of a _damn **hat?**_

 **“** You kidding!? That’s rich coming from a chick who rode a motorcycle in a _tartan skirt and thigh high boots!”_

 _“_ That thing is bad enough sitting on a coat hanger! But you put it on and, _impossible as it may sound_ , you turn into an even _bigger pain in the ass!”_

 _“_ **GUYS!”**  Nero yelled out, rubbing his temple with his free hand to try and stop the headache that rose into his head, “Are you _serious?”_ He waved the hat around in exasperation, “What’s all this _for?”_

The two looked at each other for a moment, Lady with an impatient scowl and Dante with a challenging raise of an eyebrow, before turning to the younger man and absolutely _unloading_  on him with silly complaint after ridiculous justification.

By the time they were done Nero was ready to grab the heavy piece of weaponry he was working on and using it to get them to _calm the hell down_  but tried to control himself.

“Okay…” He said, through his teeth, hand still rubbing his forehead, “So, let me get this straight, Dante got a cowboy hat and got it into his head he has to use a really lame accent with it-”

“I think you mean _authentic accent-”_

 _“-_ Lady shot it to hell so Dante somehow convinced Nico to patch it up and make it _stronger-”_

_“-a traitor, a traitor and a fool-”_

“-making it strong enough to withstand bullets and a blast from a freaking _rocket launcher-”_

 _“-_ that there spooked me right good it did let me tell ya-”

“ _You’re not even **wearing**  the damn thing what is **wrong**  with you-!?”_

 _“_ And Trish, for _some reason,_  doesn’t think she can destroy it either.” Nero finished, his eye twitching with ever interruption from the other two, looking at the hat that started all this with disdain and general annoyance, “And now you want _me_  to destroy this ugly thing, right?”

“It ain’t _ugly-”_

 _“Yes it is!_  C’mon Nero you gotta be on my side on this one!” She pointed at Dante, “Doesn’t this guy annoy us enough without this extra ammo!?”

 “Don’t appeal to his emotions!” Dante made a motion towards Nero with a hand, “The kid’s smart, I’m sure he can see _proper_  solution to all this,” He sent a charming smile to Nero, complete with gleaming teeth (all it accomplished was make Nero’s headache worse), “Right kid? What do _you_  think about all this?”

Nero looked at Dante, gleaming smile still stretching his face, and then at Lady, her face sending off an endless amount of threats of horrible and slow death (both towards the demon hunter and his hat), and sighed.

 

“I _think_ that the both of you are _crazy_  and that this is, bar none, the most _idiotic situation I have ever found myself in.”_

 

Behind the door, Morrison, Trish and Nico had to try their hardest not to burst out laughing.

“…is everything okay in there?” 

The trio near the door looked behind them to see Kyrie, dressed comfortably and carrying a few bags of groceries in her hands, and a rather worried expression on her face.

“Let me get those for you.” Morrison offered quickly, stepping up to her to take the heavy overfilled bags out of her hands and onto a nearby table, when he turned back and saw her still a bit anxious and looking at the workshop door. “Oh _that?_  Don’t worry little lady, just another silly little argument between Dante and our resident Gunslinger.”

Kyrie sighed and put a hand to her cheek, “Oh, what did he do _this_  time?”

Morrison tried not to grin at the sound of exasperated affection in her voice, it still surprised him how such a seemingly delicate looking girl got so used to the madness of the half devil so easily

(Though he supposed she had _practice_ with that boyfriend of hers.)

“Nothing too drastic, Dante just got a new hat.”  

The sound of crashing metal and gunfire, followed by loud yelling and cursing, erupted from behind the doors, Nico flinching back a couple steps away while Trish just shook her head with a chuckle.  

Kyrie blinked twice at the door, then looked back at Morrison. “A _hat_  is causing _that?”_

The old man laughed. “Well, the hat and Dante having a _little_  too much fun with it, Lady in _particular_  seems to disapprove.”

“ _I WILL DESTROY THAT LOATHSOME PIECE OF LEATHER IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!”_

_“OVER MY DEAD BODY!”_

_“THAT CAN BE **ARRANGED!”**_

A few explosions rocked the building, followed by the unmistakable sounds of Dante whooping and hollering as he dodged gunfire from an increasingly angry Lady.

“…I’ve guessed…” She looked over at Trish, who was still sitting near the door with a sly grin and enjoying the fireworks. “You’re not going to stop them?”

“Better to let them get it out of their system.” Trish waved off her concern easily. “As soon as Dante gets bored of this joke he’ll drop the damn hat and we can all move on.”

Nico side-eyed the door as more noise filtered through the wood. “Assuming there’s anything left by the time they’re done.”

Kyrie narrowed her eyes at the door…before she recognized it as the door to _Nero’s workshop._

 

_“Guys come on I just finished cleaning up! Would you two relax!?”_

 

Kyrie’s heels made a very distinct sound on the wooden floor as she stepped her way to the door and grabbed the handle to open it.

Trish grabbed her wrist gently to stop her. “Hold on now,” She said calmly, “no need for you to get in the middle of this, they’ll burn themselves out soon enou-”

Kyrie looked Trish dead in the eye, raised a single eyebrow, and waited.

Trish blinked in surprise before letting go of Kyrie and putting her hands up in mock surrender. “Alright then, go save your boyfriend.”

Kyrie nodded and opened the door, stepping briskly passed the threshold.

 

(She didn’t catch Nico whispering, “I keep forgetting how scary she can be.” as she walked away. She didn’t catch Morrison chuckling or Trish shrugging either.)

 

The first thing she saw as she walked in was the burning wreckage of the motorcycle Nero had been tinkering with for the past six weeks embedded in a nearby wall. The second thing she saw was her boyfriend grabbing Lady from behind to hold her back from trying to wring Dante’s neck, who was standing a few feet away and sticking his tongue out at the raging hunter.

“White haired pain in the _neck!”_

“Why don’t you admit you’re just jealous of my fashion sense?”

“Why don’t _you_  shut it before she shoots you with the _rocket launcher again!?"_  

She cupped her hands over her mouth and took a deep breath. “HEY!”

The trio froze in place and whipped their heads to look at her, expressions suddenly sheepish.

“I heard there was an argument about a hat?”

Dante blinked, before a mad grin bloomed on his features, “Indeed there _is.”_

Nero’s eyes bugged out and he glared at Dante, still holding Lady back. “Oh no don’t you drag here into this nonsense!”

“She is the _perfect_  person to settle this once and for all!” Dante shot back, walking calmly towards Kyrie, who was crossing her arms and looking a little tired already. “She’s a neutral party, plus the only person here with a sense of _style.”_  

Kyrie shook her head, though a little smile was pulling at the sides of her mouth, since the whole incident at Fortuna, the veteran devil hunter had never ceased to surprise her with his antics, but this was on another level all together.

“Well _howdy there_  little lady.”

A groan of supreme displeasure rose from Lady, “oh God it just keeps getting _worse.”_

“Me and my companion over yonder are havin’ a dispute over fashion and style.” He continued, his drawl ever present and even posing like a cowboy, one hand on the brim of his hat and the other on his hip. “I think this here hat makes me look mighty stylin’, while Lady over there-”

“Thinks that hat and the accent you put on with it is a raging garbage fire.”

“-Well yeah, and we’ve been tryin’ to settle this for a while now, and all our other friends are refusing to comment.”

“They like watching us squabble you mean.”

“Well yeah obviously.” Dante said easily, losing the accent for a moment, “I know that, why do think they’ve been outside that door listening in on us this whole time?”

The sounds of people scrambling came from behind said door, along with a muffled curse.

 “ _Assholes!”_

“Like you wouldn’t do the same.” Dante laughed, before turning back to Kyrie, who has been holding back her own laughter, and turning the drawl back on, “So, I reckon that you, being the most honest and straightforward of our bunch, you’d be able to settle this once and for all.”

“Dante…” Lady started again, this time sounding more than a little tired, “ _please_  don’t drag her into this, this is just a stupid joke-”

“Look,” Dante intoned diplomatically, “if Kyrie says something she means it. If she says the hat doesn’t suit me, I drop it _and_  the accent, fair?”

Lady grumbled for a moment before throwing her hands up in surrender, “Fine, so long as this idiocy _stops_  already.” She then looked down at Nero, who was still holding her back by the waist, “…and kid?”

“Yeah?”

“If you don’t want to see how bulletproof you are compared to Dante, _you will put me down.”_

He quickly put her on her feet and took a good 5 five steps back with his hands up.

“So, in your honest opinion Kyrie, how do I look?”

Kyrie looked at Dante, very closely, taking in his smug grin, confident posture, and the laughter in his eyes as he tried to hold back from showing how much he was enjoying himself in this farce.

She peered behind him to look at Nero a bit helplessly, and he could only offer a shrug in reply as he mouthed a ‘sorry’. She looked back at Dante with a curious expression, at a loss.

Suddenly his expression softened, “you don’t have to get involved if you don’t want to.” He grinned easily and took a step back, “no pressure, it’s just a little joke.”

Kyrie caught something as he stepped back, a look in his eye that she recognized. 

“Dante…why do you want to be a cowboy anyway?”

Dante looked incredulous for a moment, before scoffing. “Oh come _on,_  I can’t be the only one who wanted to be a cowboy when they were a kid.”

Lady raised an eyebrow at him, “Seriously Dante?”

 “Yeah _seriously_ ,” Dante said with a laugh tinged with nostalgia, “when I was a kid I used to watch all these movies about desperadoes riding into the sunset, firing six shooters, and leaning on bar stools, looking cool without even trying.” He laughed again, “hell, _especially_  Clint Eastwood, I must have watched The Good The Bad and The Ugly like a dozen times with my-”

He stopped dead, voice catching in his throat as something dark passed in his eyes. Lady and Nero gaped at him, Lady in particular looking at a loss for words as what he didn’t say started to sink in.

Kyrie felt something clench in her chest, but said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

Instead he sighed and took the hat off with a dismissive chuckle, “nah, nevermind, like I said.” He put the hat on Kyrie’s head, “just a dumb joke that I took a bit too far.”

“Dante…”

“Could you put that in the weapon storage?” Dante called out easily as he stepped away from her, “if I need it I’ll know where to find it.” He looked at the mess he and Lady made of the workshop and sucked in a breath through his teeth, “yikes, we really did a number on this place huh?” He looked at Nero with a small grin, “sorry ‘bout that kid.”

Nero shook his head and scowled lightly, “if you’re so _sorry_  you can help clean up.” He pointed at Lady, “and you too!”

“Gotcha.”

Kyrie felt her heart sink at the look of Dante, grinning and joking but in a subdued way, like he was hiding something. 

She knew what he was hiding of course, they all knew, but discussing such things in Devil May Cry simply Did Not Happen. If she left it be he would back to his old self in a few days and never bring it up again, never put the hat on again either, no matter how happy it made him. 

She grabbed the hat off her head and started stepping towards him with purpose, tugging on his coat so he would look at her. 

Before he could even ask her what she wanted, she put the hat back on his head.

“Huh?”

“I think this makes you look _very_  handsome, Dante.”

She smiled warmly at him as he blinked down in surprise, reaching a hand up to rub the brim of the hat, “R-really?”

She nodded easily, smile still lighting up her features.

Dante blinked a few more times before his usual grin lit up, “Well I’ll be _darned-_ ”

“Although,” Kyrie said again, grabbing the hat off his head before he could react and put it back on her head, “the accent is a _bit_ much.”

Dante blinked again at her, before he bent over in laughter and looked at Lady, “See? At least _someone_  has some fashion sense around here.”

Lady rolled her eyes and shook her head, “yeah, but she _also_  has some _common_  sense.”

Dante laughed again and shook his head, grinning at her, “Sorry about busting your chops all day, couldn’t help myself.”

Lady punched him on the shoulder, “yeah yeah, and I’m sorry for shooting you with a rocket.”

“Twice.”

“Alright _twice_  ya big baby.”

 Nero walked over to Kyrie and hugged her while the other two bickered lightly as they cleaned up, kissing her softly, “You are a _blessing_ , you know that right?”

Kyrie laughed as she blushed from her boyfriend’s attention, “Just keeping the peace.”

—-

Kyrie walked into the weapon storage with the hat in hand (she was still having trouble wrapping her head around the idea that a _hat_  could be a weapon), and closed the door behind her, looking for a place to put it where it wouldn’t be too out of the way to be hidden.

 

She walked a few steps in, admiring a few of the pieces already on shelves and hanging off hooks on the walls, eventually finding a free space on a shelf where she could put the hat.

Along with a mirror. 

 

Kyrie looked at it for a moment, seeing it was just an ordinary mirror (Dante probably kept it in there to check out his looks), and looked at the hat in her hands.

She looked left.

Right.

Back at the hat.

Slowly, she faced the mirror, and put the hat on, admiring the visage in her reflection.

 

Making a finger gun gesture, she pointed at the glass with a self indulgent grin. “ _Bang.”_ After a moment, she used both hands and affected a slight southern drawl, “Reach for the _sky.”_

With a giggle she took the hat off and put it on the shelf and made for the exit with a happy spring in her step. 

As soon as she closed the door behind her, she noticed the whole of Devil May Cry looking at her with very amused smiles.

Kyrie blushed and chuckled nervously.

“Oh sure,” Dante grumbled from somewhere in the back, “it’s cute when _she_  does it.”

“Of course it’s cute when she does it,” Lady shot back, rolling her eyes to the heavens. “She’s not doing it _purposely to annoy people,_ if you catch my drift.”

Dante tipped his head at her, smirk curling his lips. “Already apologized, your honor.”

An amused snort followed. “Doesn’t mean I can’t needle you about it.”

Pocketing her phone – making sure she had the video of Kyrie with the hat saved – Nico chanced a glance in Lady’s direction. “Sooo, that mean you’re not going to blow up, say, an engineer who _helped_ him being annoying?”

Lady shot her an incredulous look before laughing, “Alright, to make this clear: I’m not blowing up innocent people who can’t immediately regenerate from it. With a _rocket launcher_! Honestly, do you think I’m some kind of madwoman?! No, _you_ don’t answer that,” she added to Dante, narrowing her eyes as she noticed that he had already opened his mouth to do just that.

He clamped it shut obediently, raising his hands in silent surrender while trying to look inncent and surprised. It didn’t work very well.

“See, Nico” Trish’s melodic voice dissipated the momentary tension again, “I told you she wouldn’t do it.”

“Well, I just think you can’t be too careful about that!” Nico defended herself, grinning embarrassedly.

“Nah, you’re safe,” Lady assured her, before holding up one finger. “ _That is_ …”

Nico froze in the middle of moving to take a seat, eyes wide in surprise and just the tiniest bit of worry. “Uh, yes?”

“… _if_ you tell me how the heck you managed to make that damn hat so _unbreakable_.”

Kyrie had to hold back fond laughter as she watched Nico blink, gape, and then starting to beam, the engineer looking as if her birthday and a holiday had just fallen on the same day. “Really? You want to hear me talk about my work?!”

“Uh-oh,” Nero mumbled, flashing Kyrie a quick smile from across the room, only strengthening her urge to laugh. They both knew how excited Nico could get when someone showed interest in her ideas and working processes.

If Lady had any worries about what monster she had just unleashed, she didn’t show it, waving Nico closer with a chuckle. “Hear about it? I want to _know_ all about it. If you can do that with a hat, I want to know if you can do that with some of my clothes – would be great if they were a bit more resistant and I didn’t need to buy new clothes after a single job.”

Nico’s grin widened to a worrisome degree as she dove for her notebooks and then hurried over to the older woman, plopping down next to her.

“If that’s the case,” Trish stretched on her spot on the couch before getting up in one fluid movement, “I would be quite interested in that, too.”

Morrison chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ve never seen you get a single hole in your clothes, Trish.”

She shot him a wink over her shoulder, smirking. “Perhaps you’re too gentlemanly to look too closely.”

“That must be it, sure.”

The excitement of the day – and any talk about cowboys or talking _like_ cowboys – seemed to be forgotten for the moment as they went on with their day, a sort of peace coming over them.

And yet, as she stood and watched her friends go on about their day, when she had should have just joined them… Kyrie couldn’t shake off the thought that there was something still left unattended, unsaid.

The oh-so recent memory back from Nero’s workshop came clawing back up her chest, making it ache and burn – the way Dante’s eyes had gleamed with almost childish excitement as he told them about his love for cowboys, before the shadows had snuffed out that light.

It wasn’t the first time she had witnessed it, and she had been part of this group for much less time than some of the others. But it was _there_ , if you knew where to look for, if you listened close enough: Those moments when Dante’s whole persona just seemed to _crack_ , seams loosening and falling apart, and laughter and booming voice made way for silence and something glaringly deep and dark, swallowing him up whole.

It made Kyrie want to cry for him, for what had been lost. _Manchild_ , they might call Dante sometimes, in annoyance, in tease, in warm laughter – but sometimes, perhaps, all of them, even herself, forgot that said child had been forced to grow into a man much too quickly, and in horror whose lasting damage they could only fathom.

The thought alone made her feel sick. She wanted to hug him, to tell him it was all going to be okay. But again… in Devil May Cry, things weren’t _discussed_. They were ignored, swept under the carpet, downplayed with noise and jokes and explosions until they could no longer be heard. It was Rule Number One. Everybody knew it. Etched into stone it had been, even long before she had come along.

By now, Kyrie was gnawing at her bottom lip in thought, wringing her hands. An idea was starting to form, and perhaps it might even be a _good_ idea, but she wasn’t sure if it was _her_ place to orchestrate something like this. Too personal. She was still mostly a stranger. Her idea could be appreciated, yes, but it could also very much backfire and do more bad than good…

“Hey,”

Warm hands reached for her, the metal one wrapping gently around her fingers to stop the fiddling, the human one carefully stroking its thump over her bottom lip so she had to stop biting it.

As Kyrie looked up, Nero smiled down at her, eyes soft even though there was gentle tease in his smirk. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that.”

That got a laugh out of her. His smirk widened into a smile, as if the sound had just brightened his entire day. “My hero, saving me again.”

“Always. But seriously,” a quick peck was pressed to the tip of her nose, making her giggle again because it tickled, before he became more serious. Hand coming to cup her cheek, he directed her to look at him. “What got you all frowning?”

Kyrie hummed, lost in thought while she straightened his collar and smoothed non-existent wrinkles out, all the while wondering how she should start this, if she should ask for help or not. Nero’s fingers moved, playing with her hair like he so often did, the touch familiar and grounding and calming all in once.

_You’re not alone. I’m right here._

It was this silent reassurance that made her wish she could give others – could give Dante the same, even if it was just a tiny bit.

“Did you ever see something,” she began, looking up to meet Nero’s soft, inquiring gaze, “something that just didn’t seem _right_ , and you felt like you wanted to…help fix it? Even if it’s perhaps none of your business?”

He raised one eyebrow at her, lips quirking up. “You do realize who you’re talking to, right?”

“Quite,” she assured, answering laughter rising in her. “But I mean…even if you would kind of break an unspoken rule with it?”

The second eyebrow joined the first, mirth gleaming in his eyes. “Again, you do realize who you’re….?”

“Oh, okay, okay, shush,” she had to laugh, honest and loud, but she still managed to aim a playful smack at his shoulder throughout it, just for railing her up. It was not like he would even _feel_ it.

Nero’s glee only seemed to increase, as if she had done something particularly endearing. Still, he caught her raised hand in his, pressing a quick kiss to the palm to sooth whatever sting there was, before drawing her back into an embrace. “Alright, but seriously, if I were in your stead, I would probably just go through with it, whatever it is.”

“Don’t I know it, you would jump right in,” Kyrie mumbled into his chest, smiling when he chuckled without an ounce of shame. “I might have to take a page from your book then, this time.”

“What an honor,” she could hear the tease in his voice, but the kiss he dropped to the top of her head was full of honest reassurance. “You’re gonna do great.”

“You don’t even know what I‘m going to do.”

“No clue. But I just saw you manage both Dante and Lady at the same time. I doubt there’s _anything_ that can stop you after _that_.”

Again, laughter burst out of her, and she stood to her tiptoes as he released her and stepped back, rocking forward to press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” his grin was wide and boyish, so different from his usual smirk and just for her, it made another surge of affection go through her.

Kyrie was just about to add another kiss to the first, when they got joined by a third party.

“I really hate to interrupt you two lovebirds,” Nico peeked over Nero’s shoulder, flush high in her cheeks from excitement. “But Kyrie, can I kidnap your boyfriend for a sec? I want to show off the Devil Breaker to the interested ladies over there.”

“Go ahead,” Kyrie agreed, waving them off.

Nero’s eyebrows rose yet again. “I don’t even get asked?”

“You don’t get asked,” Nico confirmed, already attempting to drag him off. “Move it, lover boy.”

Nero rolled his eyes at the attempt, not even giving an inch, before he bent down and pressed one last parting kiss to Kyrie’s forehead. “You go rock whatever it is.”

“Will do.”

“What, what is she gonna do?”

“None of your business, Nico.”

“Aww, you guys never let me join the fun.”

“Really? _You_ complain while dragging _me_ around like a puppet?”

“Excuse me, at least twenty percent of you is made by _me_ , I can drag all I want, honey.”

Kyrie smiled after the two of them as they went, bickering all the way. Really now…

Taking one deep breath, stealing herself for whatever outcome this was going to achieve, she turned, located whom she needed, and purposefully strode over.

Morrison seemed surprised when he looked up and saw her standing next to him, but it quickly made way for a welcoming smile as he made a gesture towards the empty space on the couch next to him. “Yes, Kyrie? What is it?”

She huffed out a chuckle at that, gratefully taking a seat. “I didn’t say anything and you already know I need something?”

“Easy to see, with that determined gleam in your eyes,” he observed, reaching for his jacket before stopping, shaking his head at his own habit before looking up again. “So, how may I help?”

His smile was friendly still, and no accusations in his words, so Kyrie relaxed instantly. Clearly, her feeling that he would be the right person to ask had been right. “You see, I wondered if there’s a place where I could buy old movies. As in, old western movies?”

Morrison’s expression faltered for half a second, eyebrows shooting up, and he only _just so_ seemed to stop himself from gaping at her. “You…”

His reaction had been _much_ stronger than Kyrie had anticipated, and once again she wondered – worried – if she was overstepping her boundaries here. In an attempt to explain, she added, “It’s just that we don’t have any shops in Fortuna that sell older things like that, or movies in general, and I don’t know a lot of places here in…”

“They wouldn’t be for you, I take it?”

She interrupted herself, blushing ever so slightly. Was she so easy to read?

Then she remembered how Morrison had put emphasis on just how long he had known Dante, and she thought that, perhaps, if anyone knew best what went on in the demon hunter’s head…if anyone understood, it would probably be…

Morrison hadn’t reacted badly to it, not really. Simply surprised.

Kyrie raised her chin, mind made up. She was _sure_ this was the right thing to do, now. “No, they would be a present.”

That seemed to be the right thing to say. The inquiring look melted from Morrison’s face, replaced by the most brilliant smile she had ever seen from him. “I actually might know where to get you that present.”

It took her a second, but then Kyrie understood, and she beamed. “Really? Where?”

She had half a mind to go there immediately, on the height of her enthusiasm, and gather up every last Wild Western movie she could get a hand on.

It must have shown, because the man chuckled, resting a hand on her wrist to get her to stay seated. “Slow down, now. I’m going to head over there, see what I can scrounge up for you.”

“Oh, but you don’t have to-…“

“Kyrie,” his voice was kind, but firm. “It’s a great idea you had there, and I would be happy to offer some help.”

She relaxed, releasing a relieved breath. “You think it will be…well received, then.”

“More than you probably can imagine right now. But you might find out for yourself.”

Before she could wonder what that meant, much less _ask_ , a hand landed on her shoulder, warm and gentle.

“As if someone _doesn’t_ like presents,” Dante rumbled, arm coming to rest around Kyrie’s shoulder as he leaned over the back of the couch to steal Morrison’s beer bottle from next to him. The older man let him, smile curling around his lips even as he muttered a half-hearted protest over it.

Kyrie had jumped at the first touch, sudden as it was, but relaxed now. She had become quite used to the ease with which Dante approached her, even when she had been perplexed by it at first. She peered up at the older half-demon, catching his gaze which was… far too amused, for the situation, she noted. Far too fond and directed at her and…

Oh.

 _Oh right,_ she thought with a rush of embarrassment and amusement at the same time, _heightened senses, and better hearing._

Sometimes she forgot just who she was dealing with.

Huffing, hoping that she didn’t blush too badly at her own oversight and being caught, Kyrie smiled up at Dante, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Is it still a present if you’re not even going to be surprised by it?”

The smirk on Dante’s face widened into a grin and he shrugged one shoulder. “I like _presents_. Never said a thing about _surprises_.”

The hand still wrapped around her shoulder squeezed, gently, taking the blow out of his teasing, and she smiled widely at it.

“I can pretend to be surprised by it, if you like,” he offered still, raising an inquiring eyebrow at her.

She sighed fondly, shaking her head. “Please, no. After that cowboy show all day? I don’t want to think how far you would go to _pretend_ to be surprised.”

“Well said,” Morrison laughed out loud at that, throwing his head back, and the grin on Dante’s face couldn’t be any bigger.

“What are you guys getting up to over here?” Nero sidled over to them, obviously having been released from his duty to show off. He pushed, none too roughly, past Dante, who easily gave up his spot at Kyrie’s side to let Nero take over.

“Failing to surprise Dante,” Kyrie explained, chuckling as she saw confusion flash over her boyfriend’s face at that before it settled again.

“Still ready to pretend,” Dante disagreed, waggling his eyebrows at her before he took a swig of his drink. “But, to answer your question kid – Kyrie here _did_ surprise us all with planning a movie night.”

“I-.. what?”

That, she hadn’t anticipated. Hadn’t even thought of.

But clearly, Dante had. He twirled the bottle in his fingers, humming, not really meeting their perplexed gazes. “Sure. Movies are there to be watched, aren’t they? And I was thinking pizza. Movies with pizza, and you guys can stay if you like, since it was your idea in the first place.”

It sounded casual enough, the way he said it. It didn’t seem casual at all, the way melancholy was etched into his lopsided smile, and he was still not looking over to gauge their reactions.

Kyrie’s mind was made up immediately, and she reached for Nero’s hand on her shoulder even as she searched for his gaze.

He was already looking back, tipping his head at her in a short, almost invisible nod that made her heart swell with love once again.

(He could pretend not to care all he wanted, she knew better. _They_ knew better.)

“If you talk with that shitty accent throughout the whole movie,” Nero warned, no real threat in his voice. “I _will_ join Lady in shooting you.”

Dante’s smile sharpened into a smirk and he rolled his eyes. “Kid, that threat stopped working after you _greeted_ me with bullets the first time around.”

“That just means he saw right through you,” Lady called from the other side of the room. Kyrie looked over just in time to see Trish hide a smile behind her hand and Nico snort, Lady lounging in her chair with mirth in her eyes that belied her harsh words. “Noticed right away that it’s the best way to go when it comes to you.”

“Cheers, I'll drink to that!” Dante threw back, raising his empty bottle at her even as she made a crude gesture in his direction.

“Prick.”

“Mh-hm,” the half-demon seemed more amused than faced by it. “Will the ladies be joining movie night?”

“Sure, why not,” Trish answered easily. “Could be fun.”

“Movies and pizza?” Nico brightened up, grinning. “Count me in.”

“Wait, wait,” Lady straightened up again, throwing her hands up in a _Stop_ gesture. “Wild Western movies with Dante? After _this_ day? You’re just going to use that to torment us with that terrifying, horrible accent again.”

“I already apologized…”

“Aha, I don’t hear you saying No to that statement.”

There was a beat of apprehensive silence as the duo looked at each other, everyone else in the room shifting more or less uneasily at the sudden tension.

Then, Dante smiled, slowly and bright, and Lady let out the deepest sigh in the history of humanity.

“Once,” she said in the tone of someone who just had to make a great sacrifice. “You can use it _once_.”

“I can live with that.”

“I’m going to regret this,” Lady mumbled, scrunching her nose while Trish next to her chuckled. “I see it coming already.”

“Well,” Morrison declared, pushing himself to his feet. “Sounds like my cue to go get those movies.”

“Get the good ones.” Dante called advice after him. “The real good ones.”

“Dante, I have no idea what you consider _good ones_ , you get your ass in the car and accompany me if you want to have a say in this.”

“Sheesh, you all have no idea about good movies…”

“Well,” Nero mumbled into Kyrie’s ear, aiming to be heard as everyone around them started talking at the same time, arguing over movies to watch and what pizza to order. “Whatever you did, it worked pretty well it seems.”

“Don’t you say _I told you so_ , now,” Kyrie warned, laughing even as she felt him grin against her temple.

“Don’t even have to,” he basically sing-songed. Then pressed a quick kiss to her temple, humming. “You _are_ a blessing, Kyrie. Really.”

Behind them, Dante and Morrison laughed over something as the older man chucked a coat at the half-demon, making him splutter. Lady tried to pout around her smile and failed miserably, grin taking over her features as she rolled her eyes. Nico pulled out the well-used flyer from the nearest pizza parlor from a drawer. Trish threw her head back in laughter, baring the length of her throat, as she watched the engineer notice that the only phone in the shop had been unplugged once again.

It was messy, and loud, and far from perfect.

It was _their_ perfect, Kyrie thought, affection rose in her throat, slow and bright and warm. And if she could do anything, something, however little, to preserve it, she would do it.

“This,” she said, clearing her throat against the sudden feelings, trying again. “ _This_ is a blessing.”

 

And if the way Nero smiled at her then was any indication, she thought, he just might think so, too.


End file.
